Well hello again! It feels like forever since I was last on here! Last time, I was still recovering from illness and struggling to get back 'on the wagon' so to speak. We are now at week 9 of 12WBT and sadly I've hit a wall, emotionally and physically.
Fortunately, or just by fluke, I have not gained weght, although if you saw what I ate over this weekend you may think I was trying too!! Exercise has been hit and miss and not at all like training! Now this is all sounding VERY 'Woe is me' and I apologise for that because I did not start this blog as a way to star in my own whinge fest!! But it is a way for me to be accountable, so I think the best way to do that is to set out below some of the ways, very honestly, that I have let myself down over the last few weeks....
1. Not being organised - The reasons (excuses) for this a varied. I ran out of ink on the printer so couldn't print out the nutrition plan. I had to work full time for the last 2 weeks and simply couldn't be bothered. With anything, to be successful, you NEED to be organised, and I miss it, to tell you the truth. It's the whole thinking of what to make for dinner that sends me straight to the phone to order unhealthy takeaway!! When I had it all set out, and shopped for....my life went so much smoother! We ALL ate healthier, because there was healthy food in the house!!
2. Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed - Working full time has definately done this for me. Absolutely nothing else was getting done at home! So even if I wanted to get up and train, that little voice in my head was saying 'You REALLY should do some washing, dishes, cleaning etc' I don't even like doing those things!! So it was just an excuse which is rather funny because I usually use excuses to get out of doing things at home!! Haha!! Another spot light on the overwhelmed part is that I always seem to have SO much happening!! Not only working more but I had school things on, people coming over, it was crazy. Me only allowing what is actually POSSIBLE into my schedule is something I really need to work on!!
3. Medication - I have realised over the last few days that I think this is actually the most important thing out of them all. I have an underactive Thyroid and I take daily suppliments to assist my body to cope with it. I ran out 2 weeks ago and haven't been able to get any since. This alone is enough to send me into an emotional, exhausted spiral....as I have discovered. It is also very interesting, how I have been feeling. The main feeling I have felt is, well, fat!! Along with tired, exhausted, grumpy, emotional, self loathing and the list goes on. All I can think of is that in my mind, I connect all those feelings with how I was before, when I was overweight.
That was how I lived my life and why I chose to join the 12WBT program and get something more out of life. I have lost 9.8kg since I began.....that 200grams is driving me crazy!! I look down at my body and see that it IS NOT at all like the body I began with! I need to be accountable for my actions, or lack of actions!! All weekend I have been feeling like throuwing in the towel, giving up, just another thing I have tried and failed at!! But you know what, Yes, I had a couple of cans of coke. I had chips for lunch, with white bread!! (Fail at nutrition and Gluten intolerance!!!) I had a glass of wine. I nearly rolled the kids for their icecream. The most imporant thing is what I am going to do tomorrow. Will I get up and choose to eat no breakfast so I will make further bad choices as the day goes on, OR will I get up, go out and train, eat breakfast and plan my healthy option meals for the day and continue on toward my goal?
That is the only question as far as I can see.....and there is only one answer. This is not over for me yet!!
Thanks again for listening!!
P.S. I will also have my medication back again tomorrow AND more ink for the printer!!! :)
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